


hate over nothing - abandoned

by byeolbit



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, F/M, Genderbending, Jaehwan is a girl here, M/M, hot mess of emotions, no one wins in the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 18:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18474325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeolbit/pseuds/byeolbit
Summary: Jaehee and Wonshik hurt each other because the terrifying alternative is that the other might feel nothing at all and hate has always been better than nothing.





	1. i swore i wouldn't call

The shadows on the wall move everytime a car passes by the alley with its headlights bright enough to filter through the thin curtains. They are probably driving down town after the last movie of the night closes at the theatre down the street. 

 

Wonshik pays no attention to the shadows or the ticking clock on the wall because none of it makes sense. His back is hunched over the couch and his heart is heavy with the history between him and the person on the other end of the phone.

 

“I swear I promised myself I wouldn’t call” Jaehee says after a long moment of silence. 

 

It’s a criminal waste of a phone call. Jaehee doesn’t speak because she never expected Wonshik to pick up the call. Wonshik doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t know what he expects to hear.

 

“Why did you pick up?” Jaehee continues. “Did you miss me too?”

 

Wonshik sighs. Maybe that is the root cause of this entire problem. He misses her too damn much. So even if all he gets is a phone call at 2 in the morning after months of radio silence, he will always pick up.

 

“This is so stupid. Doing this is so damn stupid but I missed you so much” Jaehee confesses. Wonshik’s throat constricts. She has a way of knocking the wind out of him and leaving him speechless. Even when she is clearly drunk out of her mind and her words slur.

 

“I am so sorry”

 

Wonshik freezes. Jaehee never apologizes.

 

“I miss you so much Taekwoon”

 

_ Of course _ .

 

He throws his phone across the room and wonders why she must be so cruel to him. The drunken confession isn’t meant for him. It’s meant for her ex boyfriend who is miles away in a country across the ocean.

 

What did he expect? He scolds his heart to calm down and tries to collect his emotions. Three cars pass by before Wonshik gets up to pick his phone up. He looks up the call history and deletes the last called record. 

 

It’s an unknown number and he can’t promise himself that he won’t call back in the morning. Even if it is on the pretext of checking up on Jaehee. Just to make sure she got home okay. Just to make sure she wasn’t alone and nothing untoward happened to her.

 

He owes this to the Wonshik of next morning who will undoubtedly make stupid decisions.


	2. fresh air and nicotine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding a trigger warning for smoking in this chapter

 

“I didn’t think you would wake up this early” Hongbin says, taking his helmet off. They are just in time. Sunrise is in ten minutes and that gives Hongbin ample time to set up his camera. 

 

The pictures are the real reason for the impromptu bike trip up the mountains. Wonshik isn’t really needed but he could use the break. So he straps on his leather jacket and gloves and revs his engine when Hongbin casually asks if he would like to come along.

 

“I never slept” Wonshik shrugs. He has always been more of a night owl than a regular day worker. Hongbin snorts and takes a few test shots, adjusting the aperture and zoom to be ready to capture the shots he needs.

 

Wonshik glared because Hongbin is a night owl too and in no position to judge. He stays out of his way, sitting on the stray wooden benches. The grass around is damp with dew and the sky is coloured in the full spectrum from indigo to orange as the sun is set to rise on the horizon. He lights up a cigarette and takes a puff. The fresh air is appreciated but the nicotine is familiar. 

 

He tunes out all thought as the golden light hits the valley and the red stone rooftops of the villages below. The static white noise is comforting. The streetlights in the distance pale in comparison to the sun coming up. It will be a warm day. The cold mountain breeze chills the exposed parts of his body.

 

The street lights go out and Wonshik misses the odd incandescent yellow glow. He closes his eyes and takes another puff. He pulls his phone out. If he stares at the sunrise anymore, he might become too philosophical about life and right now he doesn’t want to think things.

 

His fingers automatically navigate to his messages. There’s one he hasn’t opened but one he has read and has no idea how to reply to it. It’s the same unknown number. Wonshik wonders why he even bothered deleting it if he was going to memorize it and let it haunt him anyways. 

 

It’s an apology from Jaehee. A simple ‘Sorry. Wrong number’ because that is all Jaehee ever says after fucking up. She doesn't even know the extent to which she messed up. He stares at the chat, wondering if he should tap on it and end this torture. There is no way to reply to it correctly so the only thing to do is to leave it on read. 

 

“Kids these days with their noses buried in their phones when there is so much nature around waiting for appreciation” Hongbin teases, sitting down next to him. Wonshik flips him off before putting his phone back into his jacket’s inner pocket. He leans back and looks at Hongbin who is going through his photos on his camera.

 

“You usually take hours for your shoots” he comments idly.

 

“I didn’t need as many this time. I have all I need” Hongbin tells him, holding it up to emphasize his point. “Do you have another cigarette on you?”

 

Wonshik passes him the crumpled box and lighter. There are three left in there. Hongbin takes one and hands him the box back. Wonshik watches him light up the cigarette and watches the bright orange flame give way to grey ashes. It feels symbolic. Or maybe it’s the sunrise putting him in a poetic mood.

 

“Are you going to be at the summer festival?” Wonshik asks him.

 

“I’m working at a photo booth” Hongbin tells him. Wonshik nods. His cigarette is running out so he discards the butt and pulls a new one from the box. 

 

“What about after?” he asks, lighting it up. The breeze makes it harder to light it but the flame persists.

 

“I don’t have any plans” Hongbin shrugs. He leans forward to put his hands on his knees and turns back to look at Wonshik, expecting a follow up to this small talk.

 

“Do you want to grab a drink with me? We could get beer from the night market and relax by the riverside” Wonshik suggests.

 

“Are you asking me on a date?” Hongbin asks playfully. Wonshik blinks and thinks of his phone sitting in his pocket. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah I am” Wonshik admits to himself more than to Hongbin.


	3. pretty girls and boys in not so pretty places

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” Hakyeon asks, leaning in. Jaehee huffs and shoves him away, but the jab isn’t mean. If anything, Jaehee is grateful for a familiar face in this crowded bar.

 

“What are you doing, oh great son extraordinaire and the apple of every mother’s eyes?” Jaehwan asks in spite. Her being here isn’t out of the ordinary. She’s a known party girl and even the tabloids are tired of reporting her random outing to shady bars.

 

But this sort of place isn’t Hakyeon’s scene. Hakyeon, the straight jacket and clean cut chaebol heir every rich man dreams of having. The poster child for good family values and hard work.

 

“I can’t hop into a bar every now and then?” Hakyeon asks, ordering a beer for himself.

 

“I thought you were more of a wine over expensive five star meals kind of guy” Jaehee admits.

 

“Only when I am scamming money out of people” Hakyeon admits with a boyish grin that Jaehee finds charming despite the roguish manner.

 

“What ever would the people say if they heard that statement?” Jaehee thinks out loud. 

 

“Who would believe you?” Hakyeon asks, tilting his head towards her. Jaehee scowls and he tilts his bottle in salute to her before taking a swig.

 

“Yeah well fuck you too” she says, hopping off the tall chair she is sitting on. This party's boring and the bar no longer holds her attention. Any praise she had for the music is now taken back because she is tired of the EDM tracks that sound the same over the bass boosted stereo.

 

“I’m just joking” Hakyeon laughs. He puts his arm around her waist and pulls her back. The fact that it is so easy for him to pull her is frankly offending. So Jaehee scowls even more and Hakyeon smiles widely. His eyes wrinkle and shine under the strobe lights but that information is neither here nor there.

 

He orders a martini for her as a peace offering and keeps his arm protectively around her. Of course he would be a gentleman. Jaehee unfortunately is no lady, so she pushes his arm off but hovers close anyways.

 

“Heard from Woonie lately?” Hakyeon asks her. 

 

Jaehee didn’t expect the question but then again she had never expected Hakyeon to have taken a liking to her ex when they had been introduced. They had maintained an easy and amicable friendship over the duration of her relationship.

 

“The last I heard, he was in Italy. But that was months ago” Jaehee replies. Her shrug is carefully nonchalant. People are expected not to care about their exes, right?

 

“For his summer internship right? That was all the way back in June. I thought you would have talked to him some time after” Hakyeon says.

 

“We don’t talk anymore” Jaehwan tells him honestly. Drunk calling and being ignored is not talking so this statement is true. There was only one time ever that Taekwoon picked up and Jaehee was too drunk to remember what she said but sober enough to remember that he never replied to any of it. Or was it a wrong number? She had been too hung over to remember the morning after.

 

Hakyeon hums.

 

“I thought you both kept in touch” Jaehee says, wondering if there is anyway of making her martini stronger without straight up drinking the alcohol neat.

 

“The only friend of yours who I keep in touch with is Wonshik. Who is also in Italy funnily enough” Hakyeon says airily.

 

“Italy was always a hotspot for tourists and foreign students” Jaehee says for the lack of a better response. Now there is a name she hasn’t heard in a while.

 

“Makes me wonder if we should be there too” Hakyeon wonders idly. “Should we plan a trip to Italy too?”

 

“Are you going to be lost in thought all the time or are you going to ask me to dance too?” Jaehee asks. The last person she wants to talk about is Wonshik.

 

“Are you sure you want to dance here, with all those sweaty bodies around you?” Hakyeon asks, his nose pinching a little in distaste at the crowded dance floor. “And alcohol sloshing all over your dress?”

 

“What do you propose, oh wise one?” Jaehee asks mockingly.

 

“Come home with me. We can get whatever we need from the liquor store on the corner and we’ll have… good ventilation and peace and quiet” Hakyeon offers.

 

“Peace and quiet” Jaehee says wryly.

 

“I'll put a spotify playlist on. We could get drunk and make bad decisions” Hakyeon proposes. He tightens his hold around her and rests his chin on her shoulder. His nose brushes against her neck and she shivers.

 

“Why are you here Hakyeon? Really?” Jaehee asks, pushing him away and folding her hands. This isn’t like Hakyeon. The distaste over the heat and the stench is the closest he has gotten to his real self tonight.

 

“What? Do you really think that I am so boring you would never find me in a club?”

 

“I think you’re here because you’re running away from something and that doesn’t sound like you” Jaehee deduces. “And you’ve found this to be a terrible alternative.”

 

“Maybe I just wanted something different for the night” Hakyeon shrugs. “No strings attached, no propriety required.”

 

“What bad decisions do you have in mind?” Jaehee asks, leaning in. She knows the answer. This is a game she has played with him many times. Hakyeon is an attractive man. Just not one susceptible to her charms. But maybe tonight is different and she is willingly to test how far she can push his control.

 

“Mind numbing alcohol and mind blowing sex please” Hakyeon says, closing his eyes and groaning in exasperation. Jaehee laughs till she sees Hakyeon’s eyes darken on the unsaid proposition.

 

“We better get to that liquor store before it closes then” Jaehwan grins. They are two young people most definitely not in love and adamant about keeping it that way when morning comes. There is nothing that can go wrong in this.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic and certain aspects of relationships written here are problematic. It is NOT OKAY to behave this way in real life!!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/starryfics1?s=09) | [Tumblr](https://vixxscifiwritings.tumblr.com) | [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/poojamk15)


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